Date
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Ser/Ep
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Opening lines
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2000-01-07
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S01e01
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London, last Thursday Night, the private office of Jack Straw. “Now, Mr Straw. Pinnochet’s has his tests, and we need to establish if you’re fit enough.”
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2000-01-14
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S01e02
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You’re listening to the Today Program. It’s just coming up to 18 minutes past eight and I’m Joined now by Mr Jack Straw.
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2000-01-21
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S01e03
|
Thank you for coming to the interview Mr Boyle.
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2000-01-28
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S01e04
|
News at nine o’clock. Good Evening.
|
|
2000-06-16
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S02e01
|
Well, time now to grill the headlines over a live flame with Simon Hoggart, Alan Corin and the team. It’s the News Quiz.
|
2000-06-23
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S02e02
|
Dead Ringers. Hi it’s Gary Lenacure here. Kevin Keegan joins us now.
|
2000-06-30
|
S02e03
|
And hearts were lifted this week as the youngster caught up in that heartbreaking tug of love finally returned to the family home.
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2000-07-07
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S02e04
|
Ewan, we need to talk. Concerned voice but stern eyebrows.
|
2000-07-14
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S02e05
|
Yes, it’s me Trevor McDull. Once, twice, three times a newsreader.
|
2000-07-21
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S02e06
|
And there she is waving regally to the crowd.
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2000-07-28
|
S02e07
|
You’re listening to Today and the time is exactly twenty minutes to seven, give or take a day.
|
2000-08-04
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S02e08
|
Lovely. Welcome to Dibley everyone. Er, do you Gordon Brown take Sarah McAuley to be your lawful wedded wife?
|
|
2000-11-17
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S03e01
|
You’re listening to Today where the time is 24 hours from Tulsa.
|
2000-11-24
|
S03e02
|
Dead Ringers. G’day there. It’s your old mate Rolf here. Welcoming you to Animal Hospital.
|
2000-12-01
|
S03e03
|
We talk tonight to the figure who it’s rumoured harbours a secret desire to lead the Tory party in the future.
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2000-12-08
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S03e04
|
What a long but rewarding day that was, Cherie.
|
2000-12-15
|
S03e05
|
What a momentous moment this is Sue. That’s right John, we’ve had word from Washington there’ll be no more recounts.
|
|
2001-01-01
|
Archers Special
|
Dead Ringers. The Archers Special.
|
|
2001-04-06
|
S04e01
|
This is BBC Radio Four. In half an hour, ‘The Archers’. But before that, if you’ve missed the weeks papers, then don’t worry because Steve Punt, Hugh Dennis and the team are here with ‘The Now Show’.
|
2001-04-13
|
S04e02
|
Er, Mr President. Great news. They’ve said yes! I Knew they would. So when is Mr snuffleupagus coming to live with me?
|
2001-04-20
|
S04e03
|
As leader of this Conservative Party, I wish to say here and now how much I condemn New Labor’s astronomical spending on advertising.
|
2001-04-27
|
S04e04
|
People of Great Britain. This is your Prime Minister, nervous tic, wispy hair furrowed underpants.
|
|
2001-06-06
|
Election special
|
Dead Ringers, the election special.
|
|
2001-08-24
|
S05e01
|
And as the race draws to a close, we interview the surprise winner.
|
2001-08-31
|
S05e02
|
Well, I’m leaving you J.R. I’m leaving you for the West End stage. You’re sure as hell not Sue-Ellen, you dirty little tramp.
|
2001-09-07
|
S05e03
|
People of Britain. No, we were not dreaming. It really happened.
|
2001-09-14
|
S05e04
|
|
|
2001-12-07
|
S06e01
|
People of Great Britain. This is your Prime Minister (victorious grin triumphant, forehead, brooding chancellor) amplified to distinguish from other episodes starting with with same/similar phrase
|
2001-12-14
|
S06e02
|
Dead Ringers. OK, OK, you’re gentlemen of the press. Welcome to the White House for this historic joint press conference by the two leaders of the free world George W Bush and Tony Blair.
|
2001-12-21
|
S06e03
|
Ah, Mr President. Can we stop looking for it now?
|
2001-12-28
|
S06eSP1
|
|
2001-12-29
|
S06eSP2
|
|
2002-01-04
|
S06e04
|
BBC Radio Four. I’m Charlotte Green. Coming up after the news, there’s another chance to hear Quote Unquote, unfortunately.
|
2002-01-11
|
S06e05
|
People of Britain, my visit to the Indian subcontinent was a major breakthrough.
|
|
2002-04-19
|
S07e01
|
You join us on a very solemn day for the nation, a day when we all come together to say goodbye to a woman who we all felt that we knew a woman who in many ways epitomised the Twentieth Century.
|
2002-04-26
|
S07e02
|
And now on Radio Four, it’s time for The Archers where Brian is in for a bit of a shock from Shiobhan,
|
2002-05-03
|
S07e03
|
On the week he’s celebratified such an important millstone. I am recording this personal message to Tony Blair.
|
2002-05-10
|
S07e04
|
Yes, you join me John Motram, here at a packed press conference where Sven-Goran, in fact very much Ericson, is about to name his squad for the World Cup
|
|
2002-06-04
|
GJS
|
The Golden Jubilee Special
|
|
2002-08-16
|
S08e01
|
BBC Radio 4. I’m Brian Perkins. Coming up next is the Dead Ringers Edinburgh special. That’s special in the same way all the other Edinburgh Radio 4 shows are special. There’ll be a couple of reference to deep fried Mars Bars, plus the obligatory anti-English jokes, obviously thrown in by the producer so the haggis munchers in the audience can laugh their heads off like the retarded jocks they are.
|
2002-08-23
|
S08e02
|
People of Britain, this is your Prime Minister, relaxed denim shirt, enjoying my holidays tan, sunburnt bald patch.
|
2002-08-30
|
S08e03
|
My fellow Americans, it has now become clear that we stand alone with our plans for ground inventory of Iraq…
|
2002-09-06
|
S08e04
|
People of Britain, I speak to you today to tell you that we have no option but to act against the dangerous power crazed leader who believes he is above the law.
|
|
2002-12-27
|
SP
|
Festive compilation of the best of 2002
|
|
2003-01-10
|
S09e01
|
BBC Radio 4. I’m Charlotte Green. We’d like to apologise to listeners…
|
2003-01-17
|
S09e02
|
People of Britain, this is your Prime Minister, determined hand gesture, focused forehead, embarrassing plum suit
|
2003-01-24
|
S09e03
|
I wanna be the first to congratulate you Mr President. It’s a great leap forward in technology.
|
2003-01-31
|
S09e04
|
Where must my quest take me o wise wizard Gandalf?
|
|
Unbroadcastable 1
|
BBC Radio Four. I’m Charlotte Green. Put it away, I know what you’re doing.
|
Unbroadcastable 2
|
Hello. I’m Martin Jarvis.
|
Best of 2001
|
1
|
Britain, this is your Prime Minister. Nervous tic, wispy hair, furrowed underpants.
|
Best of 2001
|
2
|
Dead Ringers. Best of the Year. Welcome back to Radio 3. Quiet isn’t it.
|
|
2003-09-06
|
s10e01
|
So Abdul. What reaction has there been to my latest taped message of hatred in the West?
|
2003-09-12
|
s10e02
|
BBC Radio 4. I'm Lord Lucan (Laughs) That's right. Here I am. It was me all along. I didn't mean to do the nanny. It was an accident.
|
2003-09-19
|
s10e03
|
People of Britain. (bad aura forehead, paranoid hand gesture, grinding teeth). In the wake of criticism from the Hutton inquiry...
|
2003-09-26
|
s10e04
|
People of Britain. I hope you appreciate (grinding teeth, don't hit me hand gesture, clinically depressed bald spot ) how I've agonised over the choice of my new director of communications.
|
2003-10-03
|
s10e05
|
People of Britain. (Oh I do hate to be beside the seaside grimace, hate Gordon Brown hand gesture, looking over his shoulder underpants)
|
|
2004.01.23
|
Ep01
|
The Best of Dead Ringers
|
2004.01.30
|
Ep02
|
The Best of Dead Ringers
|
2004.02.06
|
Ep03
|
The Best of Dead Ringers
|
2004.02.13
|
Ep04
|
The Best of Dead Ringers
|
2004.02.20
|
Ep05
|
The Best of Dead Ringers
|
2004.02.17
|
Ep06
|
The Best of Dead Ringers
|